-
I can feel the existence of my elegant white bottle
I can see my thick green coat
My legs in the new black jeans
My hair
My face in the reflection of the glass of the window of the train
I can feel my thoughts flowing in my mind
I can see the warm yellow light in the carriage
The passengers coming and going on the walkway next to my seat
The beautiful picture of the passing scenes outside the window
The lined-up suitcases above my head
I can feel the high pressure generated by the train driving at high speed making my ears blocked and painful.
The flu clogged in my nose and stuck inside my throat
The blocked vague sound of the noises of the people
The shadows and lights
My sorrow and my tiredness
My memories and my dreams
My typing fingers and the screen of the phone
I can feel all of these



But I can't
I've tried very hard but still can't-
Feel my own existence


我能感觉到我优雅的白色瓶子的存在
我能看见我的厚厚的军绿色大衣
我的腿裹在新的黑色牛仔裤里
我的头发
我倒映在列车窗的玻璃上的脸
我能感觉到在我的脑海里流动的思绪
我可以看到车厢里鹅黄色的灯光
在我座位旁的走道上来来往往的乘客
窗外不断流逝的景致构成的美丽的画卷
我头顶上排列着的手提箱
我可以感到列车高速行驶所产生的高压让我的耳朵阻塞而疼痛
流感阻塞在我的鼻腔里，粘在我的喉咙上
被阻断的人群模糊的声音
阴影与灯光
我的悲伤和疲倦
我的记忆与梦
我打字的手指和手机的屏幕
我能感觉到这一切

但我不能
我很努力试着，但还是不能——
感受到我自己的存在

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Short-story

-
She sat diagonally opposite me, in black, opposite to a boy of the same age as her at the same table, in the same black. There were only the two of them sitting on that table and they were in a comfortable silence, so I thought he should be her lover. She was eating noodles and had a vague solemnness over her face. They ate for a long time. To my surprise, the boy left alone without her in the end and paid his bill, then a man in a black jacket sat at the same place as the boy, right opposite her at the same table and ordered something, while she didn't turn a hair. It turned out that that boy was not her lover, she came here alone. She looked up from the black bowl from time to time into the wall, her eyes full of a kind of calm while deep sorrow resulting a very sharp contrast with the other people in the cafeteria with hurried, but peaceful and numb eyes, which made me quite surprised. She ate slowly, and people around her table were keeping coming and going. Incredibly, this...
Read more
-
You believe that you would only love someone whom you'd admire who shall inspire a highest light out of your art who's so outstanding and shining like a statue of a god So of course, the vulgar cursing saleswomen in the food markets by the street is disdainful in your eyes And the girls raddled with heavy makeup in night clubs every day make your stomach feel bad The person that you shall fall in love with should be the one with the light of a Saint with an inspiration that you can never reach You believe that this is the only person that you will fall for ever But such kind people, you have actually seen, in the long flow of your life surely not many, but at least one or two Actually you have not just seen them, you talked with them, you laughed together and shared some days together You even lay in the same bed together, you kissed one, you licked the lips of the vagina of another one of them But you didn't fall in love. Because you didn't recogn...
Read more

Show off

-
One unforgettable thing I can't help but show off. Once in a talent show involving all the students of our whole grade in the beginning of the third year of high school (actually the only talent show of the whole three years 😭 Miserable Chinese high school students...) (the grade director required that everyone perform on the stage! ), I wrote a play that I starred in and directed (look I also have a talent in being a director ;) (sounds like something really splendid... while actually it was just very very short and very much simple just a few minutes )I was also the "music director", "props group", "background director", only the technical staff were shouldered by other students, and there were other three actors (my classmates). During the rehearsal, one of the actors ridiculed that we would not win any prizes and would probably come to the last place. I laughed with others not caring at all at that time because I was doing “Art” (Hahahaha, yes, t...
Read more